And so it starts…
You’re spared during primary season, because the carnival moves state to state and if you have satellite TV, they can’t buy ads locally for the most part. So you’re spared the hoopla unless you’re watching broadcast television. Which I don’t.
So now that the conventions are over and the nominees are set (wasn’t that a pair of edge-of-your-seat nail biters?), the ad buys are national. And satellite customers are no longer spared. Which means that without any warning whatsoever, the cackle of the Beastie* can shatter my serenity and send my poor cats scurrying for the safety of another room – preferably one without a television.
I expect this stuff during the Silly Season. I expect hyperbole without wit, puffery with pretense. This is why God invented the DVR. On comes the Beastie*, finger hits the “advance 30 seconds” button. I’m getting so good at hitting that button that I’m considering a future as a game show contestant, where such skills are valued. Or elevator summoning. As we used to say at the Swamp – FIRST!!
Occasionally, though I am forced by circumstances (most notably my firm’s lunchroom) to watch a Beastie ad, as my dining companions have no reason to leave the room and frankly, one can only need to “make a call” so many times. It’s not as if people do not know where my political leanings lay. But the Beastie never talks about the specifics in her experience, only the generalities. She’s just devoted her life to “children” – really? How so? By writing a stupid book? Her anti-Trump ads are over the top; did you know, for instance?
…Donald Trump cannot be trusted with the “nuclear button”? Really? Correct me if I’m wrong, Beastie, but I believe there are THREE nuclear buttons and you would think that as Secretary of State you would know this. What goes unsaid is that thanks to Beastie, Russia has access to 20% of our uranium. Yeah, because that has the potential to end well.
…Donald Trump is a racist and a misogynist and every other “ist” that Democrats come up with. Funny how he was able to hide that racism all those years, with, you know, persons of color working for him and one winning an edition of “The Apprentice”. Of course, you Dems do like to resurrect every “questionable” remark at women he’s ever made. Word for word, though, Beastie, I should think “you might want to put some ice on that” wins hands down. Pop Quiz – who said it?
…Donald Trump hasn’t got the temperament to be President. And you DO? There are volumes written about your temper tantrums, that you threw things at your husband as First Lady; it got so bad that the Secret Service didn’t know whether to tackle and arrest you or not (fortunately, it appears someone HAS committed this to paper). Donald Trump gets passionate when he’s speaking extemporaneously to a fired-up crowd of 20,000 and, you know, sometimes gets a little ginned up himself. If you ever drew a crowd of 20,000, you might know what it’s like; meanwhile we’ll settle for shots of you looking like you have to be held up like that “I Love Lucy” episode where she got the Charlie Horse before meeting the Queen. But as far as temperament goes, let’s visit the wayback machine for this little gem of yours during the Bush Presidency (you remember – before everyone who disagreed with a President was called a racist?)
[WARNING: Remove all animals and small children from the computer speakers before playing this as hz and dB levels may inflict permanent injury.]
And while we’re talking about crowds (were we?) there’s something really really funny going on here. If you believe the polls and the news, Beastie is soaring ahead of Trump in every state. So why is the guy with the supposedly bad temperament and evil mindset filing athletic stadiums and Beastie can’t fill a high-school gymnasium. Of course, we recently had the MSM reveal that they loathe Donald Trump so much that they feel they must “put aside” their impartiality. (At that point, their noses should be long enough to facilitate pole vaulting). It would not surprise me if many of the pollsters aren’t doing the same.
(* I refuse to dignify that candidate by calling her by name as criminals usually have an alias.)